There was singing and laughter and a beauty I couldnt describe,I was just a guest.Slowly the music faded and a calm silence filled the space as satisfied snores rumbled once in a while....the household was asleep as I sat up, wide awake smiling at the beauty around.everything looked so in place,displaced or inorder it didnt matter.All that mattered was that these tiny components made, what my mind found beautiful.
Adhi and geeth..if youve met them youre blessed.if you want to make a list of contradictions between both of them: the list will take six A4 size sheets (back to back) .I walked down the road they are walking and I have no words they are simply beautifully in love! I am a guest priviliged to have been walking on the same road.If i could only give them "couple for a day" everyday ...sigh!
Deepak sir .He's a marine bio professor in my college .His classes are a beauty in itself .He walks in with virtual fishes swimming around his head,coordinates get punched into minds that slept in every other class...his classes made my days beaitifull for I was just a guest invited on board his research station for an hour and it was a privilege.
Arun and Hope being with them :I have no words to describe.these two fellows are the limit! we go for wildlife trips together with just enough between us to share and somehow scrape through another wildlife trip .We go on journeys and never have we come back empty handed .like I've said once before in an article...."mother nature opened up her jade green arms showing us all she had" I saw the works in the wild beauty everywhere and these two very special people where beautifull in themselves. If you have ever imagined peterpans eyes they where Aruns...it glimmered with an impish smile sprinkled with adventure flavoured with a softness I have never found in anyone else.Hope slowly opened up to both of us like a desert rose,into a beautifull person none of us could comprehend,understanding him little by little changing ourselves for each other.I slowly learnt to become a woman funnily in all my tomboyishness .I found myself through them they taught me that being a woman was not bad as long as it was a strong and determined one that made life fun and yet never lost her tomboyishness, made of finer things .Im having a hard time saying god bye to arun..i found the borther i have been praying for.
I smile to myself I am alone everone is asleep (refer to first para if you are confused) I have a feeling of being so blest! And then suddenly I think of all the ugly parts of my life (which are so many) the hurt ,the lonelyness and I realise that thats what made me appreciate all these lovely moments and remember them so well.I realise that I have become beautifull as a person alone slowly growing out of the pain I had to go through as a child not being to big to protect herself .Then making a fake world with fake people for a cocoon where imaginery friends existed and stories spun into what in reality they called "lies" .Then realising myself and facing life and fighting for a freedom from the fake world I made for myself.then becoming the beautifull person I always wanted to be.The one who is able to stand alone and help others. who can laugh at the storm And fight strong enough to last till tomorrows sunrise.
And suddenly I realise I have come to another stage of beauty and that is realising that I am beautifull in myself,Im not a guest but I am part of that beauty I have been amazed by all this while !
I STAY WIDE AWAKE ,CRYING ,I AM BEAUTIFULL!