IF HEAVEN IS THIS ,IM NOT SCARED OF DYING


I leaned over a cold metal pole,I could smell spirit (I was in a hospital) behind the curtain I felt people where poking me and pulling things out of me !it hurt.I had come to this sad state because of a small thing that had become complicated(Thats all I remember).But I was growing stronger (the "me "that was leaning on the pole) as the one behind the curtain was growing weaker. I could feel unhappiness and a sadness with a hurting I couldnt touch or reach.At the same time there was a calling I couldnt turn deaf to "I had to go" I couldnt remember what kept me wandering around the place, there was a hurting that I wanted to comfort,but I couldnt.I felt confused,incomplete, I had to leave something.It was like trying to hold water In your hands..no matter how hard you tried water still slipped through your fingers.... I couldnt remember what it was ,It was something I held very dear to my heart,I was frogetting what it was as time passed.Then I just left.

Out of the building the road buzzed with traffic,it was the morning rush hour.I was lost, I fainty felt the road was familiarI tyried to read to road sighns but I couldnt read I had forgotten how to read the language I spoke,I was illiterate.I was lost! I was starting to panic then I recognised someone ,I remembered her name ! .It was like when someone shares you birthday you have a special bond for that person,a similarity. I felt that bond when I saw her. she was well dressed ,in a black saree, I was dressed in black too .we walked side by side,she seemed more calmer than me .I was scared. We said nothing we had forgotten the language we spoke.I felt comforted that I wasnt the only one,I felt comforted by her company.We walked for a little while to a mud road then all of a suddenly a sea of light flashed before us and a warm surf drowned my darkness away.I HAD NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY EVER IN MY LIFE,I WAS COMPLETE ,I WAS HOME!

I woke up to my mother telling me something,it was a dream,It was more than just a dream,I wonder what it was......I wonder what it meant.....if the sea of light was what heaven looked and felt like I am not scared to die.